- When the action is undertaken
- When the result of the action is received
- follow dharma – follow values
- maintain a calm and cheerful mind – and do it with all sincerity,
- do it for the good of all
- enjoy it while you are doing it
Normally we always do action for fulfilling some purpose or that other. So naturally we have an expectation with regard to the result of our action. The result can be :-
- Equal to your expectation
- More than your expectation
- Less than your expectation
- Or totally opposite
- Equal to 95% - you are happy
- More than 95% - you are on top of the world
- Less than 95% - say 80% - you are disappointed
- Or totally opposite – say 45% (because you forgot to answer a question) – you become very depressed and brood for days on end, blame the examination system and your teachers
Reactive people get happened to
I had a friend who really made me understand what taking responsibility for my life was all about. If I would say " My new maths teacher is lousy. I am never going to learn a thing" this friend would say "Why don't you go to your teacher and give some suggestions? Change teachers. Get a tutor if you have to. If you don't learn Maths, it is your own fault, not your teacher's."
This friend was always making sure that I never blamed someone else for the way I acted.
When the situation is not favourable, the reactive person feels helpless and begins to blame others for the problem.
Change only when they have to : A reactive person resists changing, unless forced to change by circumstances. For example, Manisha is a student in class XI. She gets angry very quickly and hurts others verbally when she is angry. When her close friend pointed out that she is hurting people unneccessarily, Manisha refused to admit to it. One can start changing only after one has admitted that there is a problem. Manisha refused to see that she has a problem of getting angry with little or no reason. So how can she change?
- You make your choices based on values chosen by you
- Knowing that no matter what you will be able to find some solution
- You stop blaming others
- You stop complaining and thinking that you are helpless
So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to be reactive to these kind of everyday things and spend you time complaining, crying and blaming– or are you going to be proactive – capable of staying calm and taking the initiative to do whatever can be done or learning from the situation? The choice is yours. It really is.